Height of advertising

deccan_ndtv1That will be thirty thousand feet above sea level when Air Deccan does it. A story going around was that these ad images on Air Deccan planes inspired Vijay Mallya. He couldn’t advertise his beer on TV, in newspapers or magazines. But nobody would be able to stop him from painting ‘Kingfisher’ logo on aeroplanes if he owned an airline. See now, his advertising footprint covers entire country and rivals that of DD. Such is the appeal of advertising.

But when I think of advertising, I see so many spots and opportunities waiting to be taken. For example, why has Mr Mallya not met Bill Gates yet? Go offer a good sum of money to have Windows Vista play “Hula la la la aye o ye” each time it starts and stops. Wont that be a good deal?

These days, call any mobile phone in India, and a movie song gets played back to you. Talk about people forcing things on you :). But Mr Mallya should be talking to Bharati and Reliance about subsidized calling plans. STD rate of 40 paise a minute, if you agree to play ‘hula la la‘ to everyone who calls you, I like that! Would be such a nice way to get back at those telemarketing callers.

Ever sat in an auto rickshaw? Then you may remember how you stare at the meter, hoping it slowed down its ticking with time. Why do all these meters have that boring black look? If Mr Mallya would paint Kingfisher logos there, we will have a working solution for curbing those sky-bound auto fares. For all you know, he may just herald the era of free auto-rides.

Now sit on window seat of a plane bound for Mumbai. Noticed how co-passengers moan about poverty in those slums next to the runway? All this while a solution is so obvious. Those dumb slum dwellers, why do they opt for plain blue plastic sheets to cover their abodes? Mr Mallya, offer them some money for using tin sheets draped in kingfisher logo instead. And you would be the first businessman ever to have actually uplifted quality of life in a slum.

Does anyone care to know whether a train bogey belongs to Southern Railway or South Eastern Railway? No! Then why the hell do they print those phrases 4 times on each side of every dabba? Apparently, Mr Lalu Yadav, the greatest public profiteer ever, has spotted this opportunity. Very soon, you should be seeing logos like ‘Surf Railway’ and ‘Nirma Railway’ instead, and the era of sponsored train runs will commence.

Enough. I am sure you would know lot more ad spots-in-waiting than I do.


7 Responses

  1. Heh heh.. that’s creative! :D

  2. Interesting, tips too.

  3. thanks Shruthi, JV.

  4. Hey, really an amazing post with great solutions to some eye sore(s) in the country. I salute your creativity.

  5. about acknowledging comments, better late than never. thanks Shiv!

  6. very creative. you should do ads.

  7. […] in jocular spirit seems to have come true today. I swear I was only half serious when I imagined a Nirmal Rail or a Surf Rail last year! Indian Railways have kicked off the concept with launch of “Kurkure express” […]

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