Bollywood, give me a break

If you haven’t lived in India over last 6-7 years, you may have a hard time sympathizing with me. But trust me, Bollywood and its music chase you these days like a shadow.

I start my morning commute, and turn on the radio hoping to catch some news, or chanting of suprabhatam. But the day begins with “where is the party tonite” and talks of “Kabhi Alvida Na Kehna“.

I turn off the radio, and look around the street while stuck in the usual traffic jam. I find one Shahrukh Khan brandishing mobile phones and two ex-miss worlds selling me some cola. No thank you.

I am in office now, and start with my emails. All of a sudden “Kal ho na ho” tune starts playing in the hallway. “Sorry man, forgot to put the phone in silent mode”. “Well you better be, and wish I could fire you”, I murmur and resume.

Interview time, I got to call this guy in Mumbai. Resume looks impressive and I am hopeful. I dial his mobile number and it goes, “jiya dhadak dhadak jaaye“. Damn it, these ring-back tones. Don’t force a song on me like that!

Good thing, its evening, and time to go home. I walk to my parking slot and wait for adjoining car to reverse and leave. Cars of today like to entertain you while you watch them reverse, so this one goes, “dhoom machale dhoom“.

I am back home, surfing TV. Twenty girls and guys dancing in tandem, next. A good looking woman with glycerin laced eyes while violins play in the background, change. Dhishum, dhishum and a shattered window pane, change. Discussion about a yet to be released movie, change. A woman getting chased around in the woods, oh god, change!

This one looks interesting, prime time, and some kids locked in a contest. I give my remote’s “up” button a breather. As soon as I do that, a kid is handed a mike, and he starts, “bheege honth tere, pyaasa dil mera“. Oh my god, he is not even ten, and look at the song he picked to sing!

Anyway, I decide to settle on a news channel and hope to get some relief from Bollywood and its music. I listen to some news, and then comes the “more after the break” pause. Break after break, Amitabh Bachchan and a few ‘varieties’ of Khans are relentlessly selling every bloody consumer good ever manufactured in the country.

I shut the TV down as another Bollywood ridden day nears an end. My wife walks in from kitchen. And oh no, she is humming a tune, “where’s the party tonite”.

I tell myself that the tables seem to have turned. The stars, directors and singers used to be chased by the fans and audience. Now, the fans and audience get hunted by them. Some one please stop Bollywood. I need to see and hear other things too.

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3 Responses

  1. It can be omnipresent all right. Bollywood may not be jolly good but in india it is deemed holy if not wood. Mr Bachchan incidentally does not like the word bollywood because he wants us to retain our own unique character.

  2. Ha ha, so true :))
    Nowadays Elevators play soft Bollywood tracks too ;)

  3. Shruthi – every situation where there is a possiblity of music fillers, be ready to hear these movie songs. Elevators, waiting halls, eureka forbes water-tap-is-on music.

    I have not tried the Indian language versions of Microsoft Windows. Can someone tell me if they play Bollywood/Film music during startup and shutdown !? How about “Aaiye Meharbaan” for startup, and “Abhi na jao chhorkar” for shutdown!

    Hiren, I didn’t say Bollywood is not good. Just that it need not be omnipresent in this way.

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